Why did I choose single parenting? The circumstances I was in at the time were not ones that made it good for me to get married. I knew that both my baby and I would be better off without his father around, because our relationship was not a healthy one. I do want to get married eventually, though, and have more kids, although dating isn’t really an option right now.
I had been dating my boyfriend, Jeff, for more than two years when I became pregnant. After finding out I was pregnant, I told Jeff first and my mother second. They are the two most important people in my life. Jeff and I knew we were going to have to make some choices, so we discussed the situation. We decided on marriage, hands down. We knew we’d probably get married sometime in the future, and this only seemed to speed up our plans a little bit. It was going to be hard, but we decided to take the plunge into marriage because we’d been dating for so long and felt like our marriage could survive. Also, my mom was very supportive of the whole thing. She just loves Jeff.
There was no way I could be pregnant! I had been taking the pill the whole time my boyfriend and I had been together, so I couldn’t get pregnant, right? That’s what I thought then. It wasn’t until later that I learned that taking the pill, or any contraception, isn’t 100 percent sure.
I didn’t know what to do. My boyfriend and I hadn’t been together very long, and when I told him I was pregnant, he said it was my fault and took off. On top of everything, I already had a 1-year-old and wasn’t ready to have another baby.
I met Shawn my sophomore year. He sat right next to me in World Studies class. All I noticed was that he played hockey and occasionally talked about practice or his game. He was a nice guy, but I wasn’t really interested in him. The following summer, we started hanging out with friends. By fall, Shawn and I were officially dating. Every night, we would find a way to be together, even if that meant I would lie to my parents about where I was going. I felt as if we would be together forever.
After Prom, we made the decision to start having sex. I now realize that I was trying to hold on to someone who was not going to hold on to me. We thought we were ready for it.
As a 17-year-old high school senior I was given the biggest shock of my life one day when my ex-girlfriend Michelle told me that she was five months pregnant, and I was the father. My first reaction was “how could this happen?” Although it was fairly obvious how it happened, I never thought I was one of those guys that something like this could happen to. So many things raced through my mind in the seconds between her telling me she was pregnant and that I had no responsibility for anything because she had already taken care of it. She told me that she was putting the child up for adoption and that she and her family had already found a couple for the baby. All I had to do was sign a few pieces of paper. A big sense of relief fell upon me at that time.