Siblings sitting on the grassy lawn

Putting Children Up for Adoption [5 Steps]

“I don’t want my children; what do I do?” You’re not alone, and there is always help. Here, learn more about your options.

Adoption for Sibling Pairs  

Putting children up for adoption together is an option if parenting is no longer possible. However, there are some important things to know.  

Being a parent is challenging. If you’re considering putting your children up for adoption because parenting is no longer an option, we encourage you to speak to an experienced adoption professional by filling out our free online form.  

Becoming pregnant again while struggling to provide for your older child may have you asking, “Is putting kids up for adoption together even possible?” Before we answer that question, you need to learn a bit more about the process for placing children for adoption.   

We understand your frustration right now, but adoption is a permanent solution to what may be a temporary problem. It’s only an option you should pursue after thorough research and deliberation.  

Keep reading to learn more about giving up children for adoption — and how to decide whether it’s right for you.  

What to Do If I Don’t Want My Children Anymore?  

Parenting is hard. Even for the best-prepared, there will be moments of frustration, regret and feeling overwhelmed. But there’s a big difference between feeling these emotions every now and then and carrying them with you 24/7.  

As a parent, you are responsible for doing what’s best for your family. That includes you. If you’re thinking, “I don’t want my children,” you can’t realistically be the parent your children need right now.   

Every child deserves a parent who will love and support them. The choice of adoption for your children is a brave and selfless decision to ensure they have the best chance at a life of opportunity with a family better able to provide for them.  

Is Giving Up Kids for Adoption an Option?  

If you’re thinking about putting your children up for adoption, there are a few things you need to know:  

When people think about sibling-group adoption, they most often think about foster care. Children are usually placed in foster care because of unsafe conditions — not because a parent chooses to place them.  The priority of foster care is reunification, not adoption.  

If you’re considering voluntarily putting your kids up for adoption, you’ll usually need to work with a private adoption agency. However, many of the couples who work with these agencies are solely interested in newborns and young children; the ages of your older children will determine whether or not adoption is possible.  

Contact these professionals to learn whether adoption is an option in your situation:  

How to Give Children Up for Adoption Together  

Before we get into the details of placing your children for adoption, there’s one thing you need to know: Choosing adoption is in no way “giving up” or “giving away” your children.   

While “giving up for adoption” is a commonly used phrase, it does not accurately represent the bravery and love of birth mothers. When you place your children for adoption, you make the selfless decision to do what is best for them, even with another family.  

If you’ve decided to put your children up for adoption, you’ll need to follow these steps to create the best experience for your whole family:  

Step 1: Contact an Adoption Professional. 

As mentioned above, you’ll need to work with an adoption professional to safely, ethically and legally place your children for adoption. An adoption professional will screen adoptive families and ensure your children are placed into a loving home together. They will also provide all the services required in adoption to you for free.  

With a professional by your side, you protect your interests, as well as those of your children.  

Step 2: Create an Adoption Plan. 

Your adoption professional will help you create an extensive plan to put your kids up for adoption. This plan will include:  

This plan will address every “what if” of the adoption process and help you feel more comfortable in your choice.  

Step 3: Choose an Adoptive Family. 

An important part of how to put children up for adoption involves finding the right family. Not all families are open to adopting multiple children at once, so your professional will help identify families who are willing and able to preserve the existing sibling bond.  

Typically, you’ll be presented profiles of families who match your preferences. You’ll be able to talk to them over the phone and even meet them in person before placing your children in their custody.  

If you are currently pregnant, you’ll need to wait until your child is born before giving your official consent for adoption. You’ll be provided with an attorney who will explain your legal rights and help you understand how to give your children up for adoption.  

The legal process for placing children for adoption will vary slightly, depending on your situation. If you have any questions, make sure to reach out to an adoption attorney for answers.  

Step 5: Start Post-Placement Contact. 

“Giving up” kids for adoption doesn’t have to mean “goodbye.” You can choose to maintain a relationship with your children even after placement. This is called open adoption.  

Open adoption can look however you want it to, including:  

You can see your children grow up in a family who can provide opportunities you can’t, and you can remain an important part of their life in the years to come. For some women who think, “I don’t want my children anymore,” open adoption can be the perfect solution.  

Additional Steps When Considering Adoption  

Adoption, particularly for older children, can be tricky. If you’re weighing parenting and adoption for your children, there are helpful resources available, and we recommend the following:  

1. Speak with a Mental Health Professional 

Thoughts of “I don’t want my children; what do I do?” or “I want to give my kids up for adoption” can be signs that you’re not ready to be a parent right now — or they could stem from antenatal and postpartum depression.  

You may not know that you can experience depression during pregnancy, just like you can after your child is born.   

During and after pregnancy, hormones will affect your mood. Don’t forget about the stress of caring for a newborn in addition to your older children. This can all add up to feelings of frustration and depression.  

Before you consider putting children up for adoption, please reach out to a doctor or mental health professional.   

They can help you evaluate your personal situation and determine if your feelings result from pre-or postpartum depression. It’s more common than you know — but there is help.  

2. Look at Your Available Resources  

An unplanned pregnancy can throw anyone for a loop. If you’re already caring for a child, another pregnancy just means double bills, double childcare and more.  

Fortunately, there is support available. If you’re thinking, “I want to put my children up for adoption,” look into the local and federal resources that can help you parent, such as:  

You might also reach out to support groups, such as:  

3. Speak with a Trusted Loved One.  

An unplanned pregnancy can make you feel alone. If you have a trusted family member or friend, reach out to them for emotional support. You may be surprised at what kind of advice and suggestions they can provide.  

If you’re thinking, “I don’t want my children anymore” and are concerned for their safety, you might ask your loved one about a temporary guardianship.   

This will place your children into their custody until you improve your physical and mental situation. When you’re ready to parent your children again, you can take back custody and end the guardianship.  

Ultimately, you want to make the best decision for you and your children, and when parenting is no longer an option, adoption can be the solution that creates a better future for everyone involved.  

You can connect with an experienced adoption professional today by filling out our online contact form. There, you can get answers to all of your important questions about putting kids up for adoption.   

You’ll also get helpful resources to make the best decision possible under your circumstances.   

Don’t worry. You’re not alone, and an adoption professional who is ready to help you is just a click away.  

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