If you’re considering placing your baby for adoption, you may worry that your child won’t understand your decision. With careful planning and the help of an adoption professional, you can ensure your child fully understands your choice and knows you love them.
Contact an adoption professional today to learn more about adoption.
Continue reading to find answers to common adoption questions, like “How do children feel when adopted,” and more.
Question 1: How do Children Feel When Adopted? Will They Understand my Adoption Decision?
Years ago, many adopted children didn’t have the chance to get to know their birth parents because nearly all adoptions were closed. Today, adoptions have moved towards openness, and most children can get to know their birth parents.
So, the answer to the question, “How do children feel when adopted?” has a lot to do with the type of adoption you choose.
Diana’s Open Adoption Experience
Adoptee Diana’s answer to the question, “How do children feel when adopted?” is thankful.
Thanks to open adoption, Diana has gotten to know her birth family. She remains grateful for her birth parents’ decision and understands why they chose adoption:
“My birth parents, like a lot of birth parents, are off living cool lives — they completed their education and career goals, they’re both married and have families,” Diana says. “Could they have done that with Baby Diana on their hip? It’d have been tough, but probably. Plenty of single parents do! But they wanted a different life for themselves and for me. They made an incredibly tough call, but it opened up a lot of opportunities for all of us, and that’s something I’ve always respected.”
The Benefits of Open Adoption
Everyone within an adoption, including you, your child, and the adoptive parents, benefit from choosing open adoption.
The following are a few of the most notable aspects of open adoption:
- You can build a life-long relationship with your child and watch them grow.
- Your child will get to know their extended birth family and any birth siblings they may have.
Communication in Open Adoption
You have the option to share as much about yourself as you would like through either an open or semi‐open adoption. In this type of adoption, you might choose to share:
- Phone calls
- Pictures and letters
- And more
Many children today grow up knowing they were adopted and understand why any woman would make this hard decision out of love.
Question 2: Will My Child Want to Get to Know Me? How do Children Feel When Adopted in an Open Adoption?
Although it’s normal to worry whether or not your child will be upset with you because you chose adoption, it’s essential to know that working with an adoption professional will help you connect with your child.
Your professional will help you:
- Choose an adoptive family that will celebrate your child’s adoption story
- Talk to your child about why you chose adoption
- As your child grows up, they will have access to important birth family health information.
- Your child can ask you any questions about your adoption decision and get clear answers.
Through honest and open communication from their adoptive family, your child will grow to understand and appreciate your selfless decision and will never think that you chose adoption because you wanted to “give them up.”
Why Diana Advocates for Open Adoptions
“I credit the openheartedness of my birth and adoptive families as the reason why I have such positive feelings toward my adoption,” Diana says. “Without an open adoption, I’m sure I would feel as if I were missing a part of myself, and I’d likely have some resentment. Research consistently backs this up.
There are a lot of adoptees who struggle with a lack of information and history, and many are also struggling with racial or cultural identity. If you’re considering adoption, you must first consider the needs of every type of adoptee and make sure that you’re ready to meet those needs.”
Question 3: How Does Being Adopted Affect a Child? What Emotions Will They Feel?
Every child has their own feelings about their adoption story. Still, because adoptions are much more open today, many adoptees have a positive outlook on the adoption process and can see the advantages of adoption for children.
Diana describes adoption as a balance of gains and losses:
“Placing a child or adopting a child is definitely not for everyone, nor is it the right choice for every situation,” Diana explains. “All adoption is hard — it’s created from loss. But with education and effort, it can be great, and everyone can gain something alongside the losses.
In order for an adoption to be successful (and to have a happy and whole adoptee), everyone involved has to be ready for that education and effort.”
The following are just a few examples of how your child may benefit from your adoption decision:
- Your child will grow up with two sets of loving parents
- They will grow up in a safe, stable home environment
- Your child will have access to more opportunities
Want to Learn More About the Advantages of Adoption for the Child?
Contact an adoption professional today. You can ask these professionals any remaining questions you have about adoption.