Many prospective birth mothers wonder if adoption is the best decision for their babies. While every child will have unique feelings about their adoption, you can make being adopted a fantastic experience by working with professionals who help you determine what’s best for your situation.
If you’re ready to start the adoption process, an adoption professional can help! Contact us today to learn more.
To help you learn how adopted children feel about their placements, we’ve answered some of the most common questions prospective birth mothers have about the impact of adoption on their birth children.
What Emotions do Kids Given Up for Adoption Feel About Their Birth Parents?
Adopted children understand that their birth parents made the selfless choice of adoption out of love. They will appreciate you gave them everything you could to ensure they would have an amazing life.
Choosing an Open or Semi-Open Adoption
One way you can see how your child feels about being adopted is by choosing a semi-open or open adoption.
- Semi-open adoption:You, your child, and the adoptive family will have mediated contact with the assistance of an adoption professional.
- Open adoption:You, your child, and the adoptive family will have each other’s personal information. You can contact each other frequently.
Adopted children grow up to be just as happy as children who are not adopted. So, don’t let the question, “If I give my child up for adoption, will he have a good life?” consume you because the answer is yes.
Adoptee Diana on Being Adopted
“[My parents] were at every school event. They helped us with homework. They read and told us stories every night. I grew up able to travel the world, and I learned piano…” said Diana, who grew up in an open adoption. “The love is unconditional, and it’s constant, and they will always make it felt.”
Click here to watch more of Diana’s story about growing up adopted.
What Emotions Do Kids “Given Up” for Adoption Feel?
Children can experience a wide range of emotions after learning about their adoption story. Many children today grow up knowing they’re adopted because of open adoption.
Children who are adopted and maintain a relationship with their birth parents also feel more confident in their identity and understand that their birth parents chose adoption out of love.
Adoptee Allison on Being Adopted
“Overall, I was proud to be adopted. It made me feel special and unique. I grew up with the ‘where did you come from’ books that were about adoption. They highlighted, and perhaps overemphasized, how special it was to be adopted,” says Allison about her experience being adopted. “In fact, when I was in first grade, I had a friend over who left crying after reading one of the books because she wasn’t adopted and felt left out.”
Of course, what it feels like to be adopted differs for every adoptee. Even those in open adoptions can deal with feelings of grief and loss as they mourn the life they could have had. But, by being available to your child’s adoptive family from the beginning, you can help alleviate these feelings that may arise over time.
If I Give My Child Up for Adoption, Will She Have a Good Life With Their Adopted Family?
As a prospective birth mother, you want to make sure that your child not only grows up happy and healthy but also that they feel like they’re part of their new adoptive family.
The adoptive family that you pick will do everything they can to give your child the life you’ve always wanted to provide for your child. They will love your child as much as you and always put your baby’s needs first.
Diana Experienced the Love of Two Families Thanks to Being Adopted
“My birth parents were young and weren’t ready to raise a baby. They didn’t stay in a relationship, but they both visited when they could — since before I can remember, they’ve just been there, and their presence was a normal thing,” says adoptee Diana about what it feels like to be adopted.
“My parents had struggled with infertility before adopting my brother and I, but were very much of the ‘any baby will be great, thanks,’ mentality and were only on board if maintaining a relationship with birth parents was an option. Everyone was just kind of, ‘Let’s do this — let’s raise a baby together!’”
If you’re considering an open adoption, you’ll also have a connection to the adoptive family, and you’ll be able to see their relationship with your child as they grow up.