What to Know About Independent Adoptions
While many women considering adoption have some difficulties finding an adoptive family for their baby, some women have already found what they’re looking for before they contact an adoption agency. If you’re in this situation, you may be wondering:
Can my friend legally adopt my baby?
If I know who I want to adopt my unborn baby, how can I get started?
My friend wants to adopt my baby; what should I tell her?
While it may seem like the perfect situation, there are some things to consider before “giving a child up” for adoption to a friend or someone you know.
Can You Give Your Baby Up for Adoption to Someone You Know?
You can definitely place for your baby for adoption with someone you know.
For many prospective birth mothers, this feels like the best option because they will truly know the person that is raising their child. They may imagine being able to spend their weekends with their baby or having a close relationship with the adoptive family. If you’re worried about having to get to know an adoptive family for the first time, placing your child with your friend or someone you know can help alleviate some of your worries.
However, you should also think about the potential drawbacks before deciding to place your child with a friend or someone you know:
Is Giving Your Child Up for Adoption to a Friend a Bad Idea?
This answer really depends on the relationship that you have with your friend. Even though you may be interested in learning, “Can a friend of the family adopt my children?” there is a lot to consider before you start the process. Ask yourself these questions:
How close are you and your friend?
Even if we mean them to, friendships don’t always last forever. Even the best of friends might start to drift apart or resent each other. Before you think about “giving a child up” for adoption to a friend, ask yourself if your friendship will still endure after the adoption is over and if you’re ready to set new boundaries with your friend to ensure your post-placement communication.
Will you be comfortable seeing your friend raise your child?
Even though you are your child’s birth mother, once the adoption is finalized, your parental rights will be terminated. This means that your friend will make the big decisions about how to raise your child. You will have to respect your friend’s parenting style, even when you don’t agree with them.
What do your friend’s other relationships look like?
Are you close with your friend’s family? What do you think of his or her significant other? These are the people that your child will spend the most time with, so you need to make sure that they’re ready to bring your child into their home and give him or her the love, care, and attention he or she deserves.
Are you hoping to get your baby back from your friend later on?
Adoption is a legally binding process, meaning that you can’t change your mind after the adoption is finalized. If you’re thinking of “giving a baby up” for adoption to a friend in order to parent him or her later on, you might want to look into temporary guardianship instead.
How to “Give Your Child Up” for Adoption to a Friend or Someone You Already Know
Even though it might not seem necessary if you’re completing an independent adoption, an adoption agency’s services can be invaluable for your upcoming process. Contacting a proper adoption professional should be the first step in every identified adoption situation.
Remember, every prospective birth mother that works with an adoption agency is entitled to the following free services:
- Financial assistance — An unexpected pregnancy can quickly turn into a financial burden. But, if you work with an adoption agency, you may be entitled to receive financial assistance (also known as your living expenses) during your adoption. This can help you cover to cost of rent, transportation, groceries, and more. You adoption specialist and adoption attorney can talk to you in more detail about what you’re entitled to receive.
- Legal representation — If you’re completing an independent adoption while you’re “giving a child up” for adoption to a friend, you’ll need to find a trusted attorney on your own. If you work with an adoption agency, however, they can connect you to an adoption specialist in your area.
- Counseling and educational resources — Having a counselor by your side during the adoption process should not be underestimated. No matter what the situation is, your adoption specialist will be there every step of the way to provide the resources you need.
Besides receiving these free services, the adoption process will be very similar to any newborn adoption. You’ll be in control of the entire process from the beginning to end and be able to decide every aspect of your child’s future.
Even if they’re your friends, the adoptive family that you’ve chosen will still need to complete the necessary background checks and clearances. In addition, you’ll also need to reach out to a trusted adoption attorney to finalize your adoption. An adoption agency can assist you both through all of these steps.
Ready to get started? Contact one of these adoption agencies today:
My Friend Wants to Adopt My Baby, But What are My Other Options?
“Giving a baby up” for adoption to a close friend isn’t the only way to make an adoption plan. You can also choose from many other adoptive families by working with an adoption professional.
Working with an adoption agency means that you’ll have access to hundreds of adoptive family profiles. These families are all pre‐screened, meaning that they are safe and ready to bring a child into their home. You will also receive professional guidance every step of the way, should you choose this path.
If you’d like to look at your other options, you have plenty of time to change your mind at any point during your unexpected pregnancy. Whenever you’re ready, your adoption specialist can send you a variety of family profiles for adoption that meet your criteria in an ideal family. Who knows? You may find the perfect match where you least expect it!