Adoption is Not Giving Up

What it Means to “Give Up” a Baby for Adoption

Adoption is not "giving up" or "giving away." It's a beautiful choice that a loving mother makes for her child. Learn more about what it's really like to "give up" a child for adoption today.

Why Adoption is a Beautiful, Selfless Decision

When it comes to adoption language, there is one term that tends to stick out among all the rest: “giving your baby up” for adoption. If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, you may be worried about what choosing adoption will mean for your unborn baby, especially if you’re concerned about “giving up on” or “giving them away.”

But, does this phrase really represent what you would choose to do if you give your child a new life with adoption?

If you are thinking, “I am pregnant and I want to give my baby up for adoption,” it’s important you know the reality of modern adoption. Here is what you should know about this term’s — and adoption’s — real meaning.

Should I Tell People that I’m Looking to “Give My Baby Up” for Adoption?

Many prospective birth mothers and people unfamiliar with adoption tend to say “give up for adoption” when talking about this unplanned pregnancy option. But, is this the right phrase to use?

Not necessarily. Instead of using this term, we first need to think about what the implications of “giving up” a baby for adoption really means.

Saying that a woman is “giving up” a child for adoption is a hurtful phrase for prospective birth mothers during their unplanned pregnancy. When you tell a woman that she’s “giving her baby up” for adoption, it implies that she doesn’t care about her child’s well-being. But the real truth is that women who are considering placing a baby up for adoption aren’t “giving away a baby” in any sense of the word.

A prospective birth mother will contemplate adoption for many reasons. For her, raising a child may mean doing it all on her own, with no help from her family or friends. She might be in school, and her unplanned pregnancy could derail her education and career plans. No matter your situation, adoption is a brave, selfless choice to do what is best for you and your baby. Adoption is the gift of life for your baby and the gift of parenthood for an adoptive family that has always dreamed of raising a child.

Whatever you decide to do with your unplanned pregnancy, remember that “giving a baby up” for adoption isn’t synonymous with “giving up” on them; you are selflessly giving them the life you’ve always imagined for them.

Why Should I Choose Adoption as My Unplanned Pregnancy Option?

As a prospective birth mother, you likely already know that you have three options for your unplanned pregnancy: abortion, adoption, and parenting. But, you may be wondering about the benefits of placing a baby for adoption and what makes the process so beneficial to all involved.

Women that are considering this difficult path don’t just “put a child up” for adoption and walk away. Prospective birth mothers put hours of thought into this decision, especially when it comes to finding an adoptive family. With the right adoptive family, an expectant mother gets to choose the future that she’s always dreamed of for her child. And, if she wants, she can even watch her child grow up through pictures, letters and even in-person visits. By choosing adoption, she’ll always know that her child is in a safe, loving home, in a life that she hand‐picked.

Another great aspect of choosing adoption is that you’ll never have to worry about going through the process alone. Your adoption specialist will be able to provide you with any resources and support you need during, and even after, your adoption.

Here are some additional questions that prospective birth mothers have when they want to learn more about the benefits of adoption.

Will I Be Able to See My Baby?

As a prospective birth mother, you are more than able to see your child after the adoption. How much contact you prefer to have when you’re “giving your child up” adoption is entirely up to you. There are generally two types of beneficial adoption relationships that you can have with your child and the adoptive family:

Open adoption relationships are designed to be flexible. If there is something that you’d like to add to your open adoption plan, you can always ask your specialist.

Do I Have to Choose an Open Adoption When I “Give Up” a Baby?

While adoption professionals encourage prospective birth mothers to consider an open adoption, you do not have to have an open adoption relationship with your child. At this time, you may be considering less frequent communication because you need more privacy in your life or because of a strained relationship with your baby’s father. This type of adoption is called a closed adoption.

Because of the nature of closed adoption, you won’t be able to watch your child grow up or reach out to them. Closing off communication may also impact your grieving process; you won’t be able to receive any closure, unlike you would with an open or a semi‐open adoption.

If you’re “giving up” a baby and considering a closed adoption, but you are having trouble deciding which type of adoption is best for your situation, your adoption specialist can help guide you through this choice.

Is Adoption Free?

Yes, adoption is always free for a prospective birth mother. If you’re considering putting your child up for adoption, you may also receive financial assistance for your living expenses, which can help cover:

For more information about this topic, reach out to an adoption professional.

When Should I Start the Process if I’m Thinking of “Giving My Baby Up” for Adoption?

It’s never too late to choose adoption. If this is your first time “giving a baby up” for adoption, you should know that this is a choice that you can make at any point in your pregnancy. It’s normal for you to take time before deciding on adoption; you might even start thinking about pursuing it months after your pregnancy.

When you’re ready to make an adoption plan, you can contact an adoption agency of your choosing. Here are some well‐known adoption agencies that can help you place a baby for adoption.

As you can see, “give a baby up” for adoption, doesn’t accurately portray just how much thought goes behind each adoption plan for a prospective birth mother. If you choose to place your child for adoption as a solution for your unplanned pregnancy, you will always be making a beautiful, selfless sacrifice out of love for your child.

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