Adoption can be a brave and loving choice, but many people still ask, “Is it wrong to put my baby up for adoption?” The answer to this question is always “no.” This misconception may be partly due to the way we talk about adoption.
You can get help from an adoption professional by reaching out to an agency today.
Here we will address some of the common questions about why adoption is sometimes seen negatively, and how to use more positive language about adoption.
Positive Adoption Language
You can see from some of the common questions below that many people ask questions like “is ‘giving babies up’ for adoption bad?” In questions like these, we often see language like “give up” or “put up” babies for adoption, but the truth is that adoption is not giving up, and parents who choose adoption for their children are not giving up on their children.
Adoptions are done out of love. Parents who want a better life for their child often think extensively about adoption before making the decision, and want the absolute best for their children.
Adoption professionals encourage language like “place a baby for adoption” or “choose adoption” because these words reflect the conscious effort birth parents make in choosing great adoptive families for their children. Below we will answer some of the other questions that come from misconceptions about adoption.
Is it Wrong to “Put My Baby Up” for Adoption?
No, there is nothing wrong with choosing adoption. Adoption has been an accepted way of growing families for thousands of years. People who make this choice are almost always choosing adoption because they want a better life for their child, and few people, if anyone, would argue that is a bad thing.
Is It Bad to Give Your Baby Up for Adoption to Pursue Education or Career?
No. In fact, unfinished educational or career goals are common reasons many prospective birth mothers choose adoption. Making advances in your career or education will inherently take time, energy and money and just may not align with parenting a child at this time. Parents are making a brave choice when they decide that placing a baby for adoption is the best choice by accepting their own limitations and abilities and considering what is best for a child.
What’s Bad About Giving Kids Up for Adoption?
There is nothing “bad” about choosing adoption. It is sadly a common, but mistaken, belief that children who gain their family through adoption struggle, or that adoption harms children, but the truth is that children who are placed with an adoptive family have similar outcomes to their peers if properly supported.
Some of this mistaken belief may come from the fact that for many years, closed adoptions were the most common type of adoption. Closed adoptions are uncommon now, partly because children in closed adoption often wonder about their birth family and may not understand why they were adopted, among other things.
Is Open Adoption Selfish?
Open adoption is not selfish. Being a part of your child’s life can be beneficial when you place them for adoption. While you won’t be parenting your child, you can explain why you chose adoption directly to your child in an age-appropriate way, and reinforce the fact that they were placed out of love.
In addition to the positives for your child’s identity development, you can also give important family health history updates, and give your child knowledge of his or her heritage and lineage.
Is it Selfish to Give My Baby Up for Adoption?
No, it is not selfish to place a baby for adoption. In fact, we would argue that it is selfless to give a child up for adoption. Almost all parents who choose adoption experience grief, but choose adoption because they want their child to have a happy life and family, and they believe that adoption is the best way for their child to get the life they deserve.
Your child and their adoptive family can both experience profound happiness and joy, and you will have the knowledge that you made the decision for them.
Is Giving Your Child Up for Adoption Cowardly?
No, placing a child for adoption takes bravery and courage. It is rarely an easy choice for a parent to make, and the ability to make a hard choice in the face of difficulty to improve your child’s life shows strength and the power of love.
If you’re wondering “Is it selfish to put my baby up for adoption?” the answer is always no. Adoption is a brave and selfless decision to give your baby the best life possible. If you’re ready to begin your adoption journey, contact an adoption professional today.