Making Your Adoption Decision

‘I Don’t Want to be Pregnant, but I Don’t Want an Abortion’

An unplanned pregnancy can rock your world, so you need to understand the realistic options available to you. Learn more about them here.

You never thought an unplanned pregnancy would happen to you. So, when you stared at those two pink lines, one thought went through your head:

I don’t want to be pregnant.

And, if you’ve come to this article, another thought immediately followed.

But I don’t want an abortion.

You’re in an incredibly difficult position. As much as you would like it to, an unplanned pregnancy will not just go away. You’ll need to make one of the biggest decisions of your life in this moment. Whatever your personal convictions are about your unplanned pregnancy options, you’ll need to seriously consider them all to do what’s right for you.

If you’re thinking, “I don’t want to be pregnant but I don’t want an abortion,” this article is here to help. While this decision will ultimately be up to you, this information will guide you through your panic and confusion — hopefully making your choice a little clearer.

‘I Don’t Want to Be Pregnant — and I Don’t Want an Abortion’

An unplanned pregnancy is a position no one wants to be in. But, now that you’re here, you’re responsible for what it will mean for you.

A lot of women initially think, “I don’t want to be pregnant but I don’t want an abortion” when they discover their pregnancy. However, you should know those are your only two options at this point: to carry your pregnancy to term or terminate it with an abortion. If you’re already pregnant, there’s no realistic way you can not be without turning to abortion.

It can be a tough pill to swallow, especially if you are personally against abortion — but the earlier you recognize this reality, the sooner you can make a realistic decision about your future. If you are in denial about your pregnancy for too long, you may lose the option of abortion (an early pregnancy option).

We understand the panic and confusion you’re facing right now. Choosing an unplanned pregnancy option is not as easy decision. That’s why we encourage you to reach out to an unplanned pregnancy counselor, who can explain your options and help you choose the best path for you.

As you move forward, there are two things we want you to keep in mind when thinking “I don’t want to be pregnant but I don’t want an abortion”:

  1. If you are not ready to experience all the physical and mental challenges of pregnancy, abortion may be the right solution for you.
  2. If you know in your heart that abortion is just not right for you, you will have two options: to parent your child or to place them for adoption after birth (more on that below).

‘What if I Don’t Want My Baby, But I Don’t Want an Abortion?’

If you’re not ready to be a parent yet, that’s totally okay. Raising a child is a big commitment; you’ll need to be financially and mentally prepared for the 18-plus years ahead. Becoming a parent is not something you can change your mind about once it’s done.

An unplanned pregnancy will force you to look at your current life and goals. Typically, women evaluate all three of their unplanned pregnancy options before deciding what’s right for them. But, if you’re thinking, “I don’t want my baby, but I don’t want an abortion,” there’s one option that might work best for you:

Adoption.

By placing a child for adoption, you can make the brave choice to give your baby a life and opportunities you aren’t ready to provide. It’s important to note that adoption is not an alternative to abortion; you will have to carry your pregnancy to term and give birth first. But, if you know that abortion is not right for you, adoption allows you an alternative to parenting a child you’re not ready for.

Here’s how adoption works: You’ll choose the family you want to raise your child. You can get to know them during your pregnancy and establish a relationship that lasts long after placement. That’s right — open adoption allows you to see your child and be a part of their life as they grow up.

Adoption is 100 percent free for women like you. Adoption agencies will guide you through every step, with absolutely no obligation to give your consent for adoption until you’re ready.

If you’re thinking, “I don’t want to be pregnant, but I don’t want an abortion,” these agencies can help you learn more about placing your child for adoption:

Remember: Whatever you’re feeling at this time in completely valid. You have nothing to be ashamed of if you are thinking, “I don’t want my baby but I don’t want an abortion.” You’re going through a difficult experience, but there is always help. Reach out to any of the professionals above for the support and guidance you deserve.