If you’ve found yourself unexpectedly pregnant and thinking about adoption, it’s understandable that you may be under a good deal of stress. It’s an important choice, and it’s one that will dramatically change not only your own life, but your child’s, as well. With this in mind, then, it can be helpful to consider the pros and cons of giving a baby up for adoption. Not only does thinking about the “giving-a-baby-up–for-adoption” pros and cons help you to think about your decision rationally, it can also help you to learn more about the adoption process.
Pros of Giving a Child Up for Adoption
Let’s start with the benefits of giving a newborn up for adoption. These are so numerous that it’s difficult to list them all it one article, but some of the major “giving-child-up-for-adoption” benefits are listed here:
- Your child will have a happy life in a loving, secure and prepared home. Adoptive families have to undergo background checks and home inspections that verify that they are physically, mentally, and financially healthy and prepared to raise a child. Many women who are considering adoption don’t feel that they are at points in their lives where they could provide a child with a stable home environment, and adoption, for them, means a home that will give their child all the opportunities they might not be able to.
- You’ll have the peace of mind that comes with knowing you made the best choice for your child. You won’t have to worry that your child isn’t receiving everything he or she deserves, because you’ll have chosen an adoptive family who has been preparing for years to raise a child. Your child won’t have to forfeit anything when you choose adoption.
- You’ll get to choose the adoptive family, who has most likely been waiting a long time for this child. When you choose adoption, you’ll get to select the perfect adoptive family for your child. The agency you work with will have adoption profiles (some even have video profiles) for you to go through and identify the characteristics and values that are important to you. When you find a profile you like, you’ll be able to meet the adoptive family and confirm that they’re the perfect fit for your child.
- You’ll have the opportunity to pursue your goals and work on yourself. Positive things about giving your child up for adoption don’t only apply to your child. There are important benefits a mother gets from giving children up for adoption, as well. Many women choose adoption because they don’t feel that they can successfully pursue further career or educational goals while raising a child. There is no shame at all in choosing adoption for this reason. Being in a good place yourself to plan a family can make all the difference when it comes to the kind of life you can provide for your child.
- If you choose an open adoption, you’ll be able to develop a relationship with your child and his or her adoptive family. Most modern adoptions have some degree of openness, or communication, between the birth parents, adoptive parents and child. This means that you won’t have to wonder about how your child is doing and whether or not they’re happy; you’ll still be able to be a part of their life.
- You may be eligible for financial assistance to pursue your adoption plan. Not only is adoption the only unplanned pregnancy option that is completely free to pregnant women, but you may also be eligible for financial assistance throughout your pregnancy and adoption process. The laws regarding adoption financial assistance vary in each state, but you can typically receive help for things like rent, medical expenses, groceries, traveling expenses relating to adoption procedures, and more.
- If you don’t feel ready to parent, adoption is an option if you are uncomfortable with abortion. Many women facing unplanned pregnancies aren’t sure of their readiness to parent but know that they are uncomfortable with the idea of choosing abortion. If you have an aversion to abortion, whether that’s for religious reasons or otherwise, know that adoption is a choice that doesn’t involve parenting or abortion.
As you can see, the “giving-a-baby-up-for-adoption” pros are significant. In fact, we believe the positive sides of giving your child up for adoption far outweigh any potential adoption cons. However, that’s not to say there may not also be some cons of putting a child up for adoption.
Cons of Giving a Child Up for Adoption
The “consequences” of giving a child up for adoption aren’t the same for everyone, but it’s important to be aware of these potential factors:
- Adoption will come with grief. This is inevitable. When you place your child for adoption, you will be experiencing a loss. However, by allowing yourself time to grieve and seeking help in the form of adoption counselors if you need it, this grief will lessen over time and you will be able to move on with your life knowing that you made the right choice for your baby.
- You will not have legal rights to your child after you consent to adoption. Remember that when you consent to your child’s adoption and the court finalizes it, there is no going back. You will not be your child’s legal guardian, which means that you will not be able to make any decisions regarding his or her upbringing. Adoption is a permanent choice.
- You may, at times, regret your adoption choice. It’s rare, but there is a chance that you may regret your adoption decision. However, by working with an adoption agency that provides counseling and ensures you are truly ready and committed to the adoption process, as well as arming yourself with knowledge of how adoption works, it is not likely that you’ll experience permanent regret regarding adoption.
- It’s possible that not everyone in your life will support your decision to pursue adoption. There may be family members or close friend who don’t agree with your decision. However, your decision is not up to them, and only you know what’s best for your baby. If those close to you can’t get on board with your adoption decision, you may reach out to different people for support during a rough time in your life. If this is the case, don’t hesitate to reach out to adoption counselors instead.