You are empowered to make the best choice for your pregnancy, but unsupportive family members during pregnancy can cause added stress when you are sharing your news of pregnancy and adoption.
Just know that no matter what anyone else says, this is your decision to make. Nobody can make it for you. Even if you don’t have the support of your family, an adoption professional is always available to lend a hand.
These strategies can help you cope with unsupportive family members and navigate your relationships. You can also get free help from an adoption professional here.
1. Get Help from a Professional First
When you first receive news of a pregnancy it can be overwhelming to think about your options and consider how other people may react, but you should know that there is always help available to you. Trained unplanned pregnancy and adoption professionals are available 24/7 to assist you and support you if you contact an adoption agency.
Not only can an adoption professional help you talk through the options for your pregnancy, you can receive support throughout your pregnancy when you choose adoption, including in-depth advice about how to talk to unsupportive family members during pregnancy.
You can read more about receiving pregnancy support here.
2. Decide Who You Want to Tell
It is up to you who you share your pregnancy with. When you talk to an adoption professional, you can discuss who you would like to tell, and your conversation with the adoption professional will stay private.
When you choose adoption, most women decide to share with at least some trusted friends and family members, but it is always up to you how you share the news, so you can take your time to figure out who you want to tell, and how.
In some cases, you may also be required to notify the birth father. You can read more about birth father parental rights in adoption here, or talk to an adoption professional now.
3. Try to Find Supportive People First
If you are nervous about the reactions of certain friends or family members, it may be a good idea to talk to more supportive friends and family members first. If you tell a trusted friend or family member and they are supportive, they may be able to sit with you or support you while you share the news with other people.
4. Plan Out How to Tell People
When you talk to friends or family members about your pregnancy, here are a few things you can do to plan the conversation so that it is easier for you:
- Choose a calm and neutral space to talk. Being in a relaxed environment can help put you at ease.
- Talk to people one at a time—having multiple people react may be overwhelming and more difficult to respond to.
- Try not to have expectations of how people react. You may be able to predict some peoples’ reactions, but it is best to approach the subject calmly and neutrally.
- If you plan on telling people about your adoption decision, make sure that they have time to process the news of your pregnancy first. It may be helpful to have separate conversations about each.
Figuring out how to tell unsupportive parents you are pregnant can be especially stressful if you are a minor or relying on your parents for housing, food, or other necessities. An adoption counselor can help you create a backup plan for pregnancy and living necessities if your parents are unsupportive, and prepare you for the conversation more in depth.
5. Prepare Yourself with Information
When you choose adoption, you are making a loving choice and giving a child a lifetime of love, but not everyone is informed about modern adoption and what it means.
Before you share your adoption decision, it can help to take time and think about some of the questions and concerns that family and friends may have, and prepare responses. You can take a look at these common misconceptions about adoption and the benefits of adoption so that you can share information if your friends or family members have concerns.
6. Stay Firm in Your Decision
Ultimately, remember that you have the power to make choices about your pregnancy. Only you know what is best for you in your situation, so don’t let negativity or unsupportive family during pregnancy sway you from doing what you know is right for you.
7. Remember that Family and Friends Process at Their Own Pace
And finally, know that it is normal for friends and family to have a variety of reactions. If someone responds negatively or emotionally at first, they may change their mind or process the situation differently with time.
And no matter what their emotions or reactions are, their emotions are their own to handle and process in their own time, and they have nothing to do with you.
Get Help from a Professional Now
Having no family support during pregnancy can be difficult, but you are not alone. No matter what the reactions of your friends and family are, an adoption and unplanned pregnancy professional can help you navigate the process and support you in your decisions, and you can get free counseling and support. You can click here to get free help from a professional now.