Trusting the Adoptive Family in Open Adoption
When you choose adoption for your baby, you are making a selfless, loving and heroic decision to give your child a chance at the best life possible. Through open adoption, you can stay in touch with both your child and the adoptive family long after placement. But, how do you build a trustworthy relationship with the adoptive parents?
If you’d like to get free adoption information now, then you can fill out our online contact form whenever you’re ready. In the meantime, though, we have put together this comprehensive guide that tells you all that you need to know about building trust with the adoptive family in open adoption.
You may be asking, “What happens when adoptive parents don’t follow through with promises to the birth mother? What happens if the adoptive parents cut off contact?”
The good news is that instances such as these are extremely rare. Below, we’ll discuss how you can build trust with the adoptive family in an open adoption.
Choosing Open Adoption [What You Need to Know]
As a prospective birth mother considering open adoption, you may be curious about how this works, exactly. First of all, you’ll need to think about what level of openness you are comfortable with. Because you are the prospective birth mother, you are in 100% control of your adoption plan from start to finish.
That means you get to choose what’s most important to you, while your trusted adoption professional will be by your side to provide all of the support you need.
To give you some examples, here are a few things that you’ll decide when you pursue an open adoption:
- Whether you’d like to have in-person meetings or not
- How often you would like to communicate with the adoptive family
- What form of communication you’d like to have with the adoptive parents (letters, Zoom or Skype calls, etc.)
But, what happens if the adoptive parents cut off contact? Your adoption professional will ensure that this doesn’t happen to the best of their ability.
Besides, open adoption contact is just as important to hopeful adoptive families as it is to prospective birth parents. Not only is this for their own sake (to check in with you and see how you’re doing), but this is also for the child’s sake. The adoptive family understands that the child wants to maintain a relationship with you, so they are highly unlikely to cut off contact.
What Can Adoptive Parents Promise to a Birth Mother? [Pre-Placement Contact]
Although you may be wondering, “What can adoptive parents promise to a birth mother,” you should also be considering what you can do to establish trust with them. Communicating with the adoptive family before placement, also known as pre-placement contact, is a great way to build that trust early on.
When you speak with one another on a regular basis before placement, this helps everyone feel more comfortable and confident in their respective adoption journeys. This can also help set some expectations as you both move forward with the adoption process.
Below, we’ve outlined some tips to help you build trust with the adoptive family so that you can feel confident that they’ll follow through on their open adoption promises:
- Be transparent about your needs. It’s important that you’re open about your preferences for your adoption experience. This can prevent confusion later down the road, as the adoptive parents will have a greater understanding of what they can do to help you during your process.
- Ask plenty of questions. Don’t assume that the adoptive parents already understand issues or concerns that you may have, and being open about these important topics can help establish trust. Just as the saying goes, there is no such thing as a stupid question.
- Settle any disagreements early on. No two people are the same, which means that occasional disagreements are inevitable. When you resolve these disagreements earlier rather than later, this can help you build trust and ensure that the adoption is as smooth and stress-free as possible.
As we mentioned earlier, you are in complete control of your adoption journey. If you feel that you need to address something important surrounding your needs or preferences, then let your adoption professional and the hopeful adoptive parents know.
So, what can adoptive parents promise to a birth mother? They can promise to raise your child in a happy, healthy home and to give them the nurturing, loving environment that you want for your baby.
Will the Adoptive Parents Cut off Contact? [Maintaining Trust after the Adoption]
Open adoption doesn’t have to be “goodbye.” Rather, it can simply be “see you later.”
This is because you can stay in touch with both your child and the adoptive family long after placement occurs. As you may have guessed, this is also known as “post-placement contact.”
You’ll decide on a type of contact that best suits your interests. For instance, you can all maintain a relationship through:
- In-person visits
- Zoom or Skype calls
- Phone calls
- Text messages
- Emails
- Handwritten letters
- Or whatever you feel comfortable with
So, how often do adoptive parents cut off contact? This almost never happens.
This is because adoptive parents want to keep in touch with their child’s birth family, and they will send you updates on a regular basis so that you can know how your child is doing. Your adoption professional and a reputable adoption attorney can also ensure that everything goes according to your wishes.
There’s something else that we should mention. Adoption is a journey that has many emotional highs and lows alike. For instance, you may find yourself experiencing some complex emotions of adoption, such as grief, loss or doubt.
To help you navigate these complicated feelings, prospective birth mothers have access to free, 24/7 counseling before and after placement. No one should have to go through this alone, so there are resources available to you whenever you may need them.
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If you would like to get more adoption information now, then you can contact us online today. We would be happy to help you out in any way that we can.