When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, you have a decision to make that, ultimately, is going to be an emotional rollercoaster. Generally speaking, you have three options — parenting, abortion or adoption — and each comes with its own set of concerns and emotional dilemmas. For the purposes of this article, we’re going to focus on adoption and the fears that can sometimes come along with that.
It’s not unusual for prospective birth mothers to have questions like: Is it wrong to put your baby up for adoption, or is it bad to give your baby up for adoption? How do you make an ethical decision to put a child up for adoption?
Some women even wonder, “Is giving your baby up for adoption a sin?”
It’s normal to ask questions like these, and it shows that you are concerned about making the absolute best decision where your baby is concerned. Although you may feel confused and unsure, you are already taking the right steps for your child’s future by thinking critically about your options.
Of course, every woman’s individual situation is different, which means that you and you alone can choose which unplanned pregnancy option is best for you. This means that it’s important to think specifically about your own situation rather than in general terms. In other words, the question isn’t whether adoption is good or bad, but whether adoption is right for you and your child.
Is Adoption Right for Me?
When it comes to considering whether giving baby up for adoption is right for you, there are only two people you should consider: yourself and your child. Your friends and family members may have opinions, but ultimately, you are the only one who knows what the right move is. It can be hard to make sure you aren’t letting outside factors influence your decision, so consider if the following statements describe your feelings:
- You want to make sure your child has access to every opportunity in life.
- You want to feel in control of your own situation as well as your child’s.
- You want to continue to pursue your educational and career goals without becoming a parent.
- You want to make sure your child grows up in a happy, stable home with parents who are emotionally and financially prepared to take care of him or her.
- You want to be able to choose the family your child is raised by.
- While you don’t necessarily feel ready to parent, you want to maintain a relationship with your child and watch as he or she grows up.
- You want to put your child’s best interests first.
For many women, adoption can be a decision that positively affects the rest of their lives. In fact, women who have chosen adoption for their babies are more likely to finish their education and to be employed, and less likely to live in poverty or to face another unplanned pregnancy than women who choose to be single parents.
Is Adoption Right for My Baby?
It’s not uncommon for women to wonder, “Is adoption bad for the child?” Regardless of whether it’s the right choice for you in your individual situation or not, adoption is objectively an amazing option for the children who are placed with adoptive families. If you’re wondering if it’s bad to give your baby up for adoption, consider the following facts:
- Adopted children are more likely (by 4 percent) to participate in extracurricular activities once they begin school.
- Adopted children are 20 percent more likely to be read to each day. They are 14 percent more likely to be sung to or told stories each day.
- More than 50 percent of adopted children have skills in reading, language arts or math that is deemed excellent or very good.
- Adopted children grow up in homes that are financially and emotionally prepared for children.
- Adopted children get not only one but two sets of parents who love them and put their best interests above all else.
- Of today’s adoptions, 95 percent are either semi-open or open, which means that the adoptive parents and birth parents share some degree of communication. This means that adopted children get to know their birth parents and where they come from, allowing them to ask any questions they may have and to understand and be proud of their adoption stories.
It’s undeniably true that adoption is not right for everyone. However, it’s also a fact that it changes the lives of many women and children for the better. If you are wondering why putting a baby up for adoption is a bad idea, or why it might somehow be wrong, make sure that you aren’t bringing antiquated notions of adoption into your thought process. Instead, consider the benefits to decide whether adoption is right for you and your baby.
For more information on the adoption process, please reach out to one of these adoption agencies: