Life’s biggest decisions are rarely easy. It’s nice to have a do-over. So, what happens when you start to worry you chose the wrong adoptive family for your baby? Can you change adoptive couples?
The answer is yes — it is your right to change adoptive families.
With such a life-changing decision as adoption and choosing the family you want to place your baby with, you need to understand you are in complete control of the decisions made throughout the adoption process. While most birth mothers feel confident and comfortable with the adoptive family they choose and successfully place their baby, there are instances when something changes, and the birth mother begins to question, “Can I change adoptive families?”
Every adoption situation is unique, as are the reasons a birth mother may want to consider changing adoptive families. This guide explains how to change adoptive families and includes some things you may want to consider before doing so.
If you find yourself questioning how to change adoptive families, fill out this form to speak with an adoption specialist about the options you have available.
In the meantime, continue reading to learn more about what you need to know if you consider changing adoptive parents.
Changing Adoptive Families: What You Need to Know
Placing your baby for adoption is one of the most important and selfless decisions you can ever make. You are providing your child a lifetime of love and opportunity. In doing so, you want to be sure you find the best family to care for them – a family you feel comfortable with and can trust will give your child the life they deserve.
During the adoption process, you have the opportunity to browse adoptive family profiles in hopes of finding a family you feel connected to. Through calls, emails, video chats, and more, you will slowly get to know the family. When you decide on a family, the amount of time you get to continue to learn more about them and build a relationship will vary depending upon your specific adoption situation.
Whether it is a few days, weeks, or months, if you find yourself second-guessing your decision and asking if you can change adoptive couples, you’ll need to know:
- How to change adoptive couples
- When you can choose a different adoptive family
- What to consider before deciding to change adoptive families.
How Do You Change Adoptive Couples?
Before you decide on the adoptive family you want to place your baby with, your specialist will do everything in their power to make sure you feel comfortable and confident in the family you choose. Once you have determined an adoptive family, you will continue to have pre-placement contact with them through phone calls, emails, and sometimes in-person visits.
While, most of the time, you will connect and grow a bond with the adoptive family during this stage, occasionally, you may start to have doubts or begin to second guess your decision. If you start to have any feelings of uncertainty, you will want to discuss these feelings with your adoption specialist as soon as possible.
They will discuss the feelings you are having and help you determine if these feelings are just common anxiety that is often associated with such an important decision, or if there is a true disconnect with the family and it is time to explore how to change adoptive families.
You have the final say in which family you place your baby with.
Because adoption is such an emotional and life-changing decision, your specialist will try to help work out any concerns you may have with the original adoptive family, as this could be a heartbreaking decision for them. If you both feel that changing families is in the best interest of everyone involved, your specialist will inform the previously selected family that you intend to find a different adoptive family.
Once the adoptive family has been informed, you will start the process of finding the best adoptive parents for your baby once again. How far along you are in your pregnancy will determine the best steps moving forward. No matter your reasons, no matter your situation, your adoption specialist will be by your side every step of the way.
When Can I Change Adoptive Families?
While changing adoptive families is an option, timing does play a role when you have the ability to find a different adoptive family. If you start to second guess your decision for the family you have chosen, you can change your mind at any point throughout the entire adoption process.
The only time you cannot change adoptive couples is if you have signed adoption paperwork relinquishing your parental rights.
While a few states allow a highly complex process to overturn your decision, the majority of states do not allow any changes to be made after you have signed this very important paperwork. It is essential to contact your adoption specialist as soon as you have any concerns or doubts that the family you have chosen is not the right decision.
Professionals will stress the significance of not signing any documents until you are fully confident in your decision and discuss your doubts and concerns.
What to Consider Before Changing Adoptive Families
When you choose adoption, you are doing so out of love and care you have for your child – you want to provide them a life of love and opportunity. When you choose a family to place your baby with, you are providing them the gift of parenthood. For many adoptive families, this is a gift they could not have received without adoption.
Changing who you want to place your baby with after selecting a family can be devastating for them.
If you are considering finding a different adoptive family, it is not a decision that should be made on a whim or without evaluating the bigger picture. While feelings can change as you get to know each other, understanding if those feelings are temporary or can be repaired is crucial towards potentially uprooting the adoptive family’s dreams of becoming parents.
Being open and honest is an excellent policy, as there is a good chance both you and the adoptive family are experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. Not all relationships will grow into lifelong bonds, and that is OK. What is important is that you are comfortable with the family you choose and have taken all of the proper steps to determine if changing your mind is the best decision. Your adoption specialist will support you every step of the way and be there to provide the resources and information you may need.
You are in complete control of who adopts your baby, but also if you place your baby for adoption at all. Although changing families may be the best decision, if you continue to second guess choosing a family, you may want to speak with your specialist to determine if adoption is truly the best path for you.
Being committed to adoption is crucial towards a successful placement and relationship with the adoptive family. If you have second thoughts about the family you have chosen or question if adoption is truly right for you, speak to your adoption specialist immediately.
For more information on how to change adoptive families, fill out this online form to get more information from an adoption professional.